Wanna Be On Top? PNTM Cycle 2

Nanananana, nananana, nanana!

It’s the new season of Philippines Next Top Model, watch out as the most gorgeous Filipinas battle it out for the 1,000 peso cash prize (“big cash prize”) a contract with Kawasaki Models, the newest top modeling agency in the Philippines, and the chance to be the new face of “Placenta ni Mystica”, a fabulous skincare line.

Since Rufina has quit the show to try desperately to repair what is left of her marriage, the producers chose the vivacious Mystica to host the show. (Mystica appears on the screen, dressed in head-to-toe lavender fishnet body stocking, red talons, and silver thigh high spike boots. “Wanna be on towp?” She croaks.

Top model wannabes: Selena Sevilla, Madame Auring, Mahal, and a host of forgettable former-bold-stars who are determined to bag the prize.

At the Top Model Flat, a.k.a. a dilapidated structure somewhere in Quiapo
“Isa sa ating tatlo ang mananalo.” Predicts Madame Auring. “Basta ako confident ako.” Says Selena, the singer of the immortal “Nilunok Kong Lahat”. After servicing the entire crew, starting from the director down to the security guards, the Lunok Diva was sure she would win. She has several stretch marks now on her throat as a result. The diminutive Mahal prays, “Sana ako manalo, para kay Jimboy ito.”
Riiiiing! The payphone on the street corner rings (they couldn’t pay PLDT so the phone in the flat was disconnected). The girls huddle together. Mystica screeches, “Giiirls! Get ready for your challenge: gagawa kayo ng inyong sariling skincare product. Bukas na ang judging kaya gawin nyo na! Pupunta ako dyan mamaya para i-guide kayo. Meron din tayong mga Japanese investors kaya dapat maghugas kayo ng mga pekpek nyo!”

Mystica and the girls
The party starts to get rowdy and Mystica is shown dancing on the tables. After the gropefest, the group huddles as Mystica gives them pointers on how to squeeze more money out of men. “Girls, dito rin ako matutulog para mag bonding tayo!” Shrieks of delight were heard as they hugged each other excitedly.

Massacre
Mahal, still tipsy, was still worried about the challenge. She still has no clue what to bring the next day. She looked over at Mystica who was sleeping spread-eagled. “Aha! Alam ko na!” She exclaims, in her high-pitched creepy voice. She crawls over to Mystica and suddenly thrusts her chubby hands between the hostess’s legs, intending to take out the “placenta”. “AAAAeeeeeee!” The whole room awakens. Mystica, outraged, whipped out her talons and dismembers poor Mahal.

Selena tries to save her friend but Mystica’s claws were already on her throat. Madame Auring throws her body at Mystica and Selena but the sheer impact brought shockwaves that damaged the flat’s roof. The whole building caves in and with this Cycle 2 ends.

Nanananana, nanananana, Boooom!