Thursday, May 17, 2007


Am I supposed to start every entry with “it’s been more than a year since I resigned..”? Why does my employment at Info have to be a landmark, a mark as to how far I’ve gone in this journey? Maybe that’s because it was the last time I was independent and so in control of my life.

I know it was probably a wise decision (and a mature one at that!) to go back to school and take up Nursing to be able to work in the US.. But it’s just so hard for me to get used to this new life- a life where I am given an allowance and rely on my folks to give me money. On top of that it was a little hard to take now that both my younger brothers who migrated with my parents are doing really well.. They have savings, and steady income, and opportunities laid at their feet.. It is no one’s fault that I was already over 21 when Mama applied for Visa.. Back then I was working so I was doing fine even with them leaving.. Now that I’m not, I’m a little jealous, I guess, to have those opportunities before them. Neither of them have finished college yet (one is in the Navy and the other still studying), but truly the job opportunities in the US are different than here in the Philippines- even for undergrads.

Where am I right now in terms of career? Let’s see- I’m 1/4th’s of finishing Nursing, with so far very good grades. And this is where I’ll remain for the next 3 years.. When I decided to quit my job (gutsy move, I must say!) I knew what I was getting into, but perhaps the full realization only hit me when I actually started on this journey..

They say everything happens for a reason- and maybe they are right. During the chaos this year- with my parent’s marriage on the rocks, I was the mediator. I took most of the impact from both sides.. If I wasn’t around, worse things might have happened. Maybe I also needed to learn virtues such as humility and patience- things I never had back in my team manager days. I can actually say that at present, most of my questions have already been answered- I feel that I’ve grown and have fully come to know myself. I am comfortable with who I am, I know what my capabilities are, and I know that I’ll be able to achieve whatever I aim to do.

I guess I’ll just have to do my best, and work with what I have now.. I realize this opportunity is not available to just anyone.. I’m actually lucky to have parents who are willing to send me back to school. I would have to endure the waiting…

I still feel sad every now and then- when I see the remnants of my career- an old planner, logbook, pictures of my team and officemates, and certificates. I sometimes miss what I left in Manila- my friends, the lifestyle, my apartment, and my freedom..

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