Half-Breed Bikini Summit Finalists

Back to our hosts, international performing artists Morona and Enema for our final three candidates.
Morona: Yes, welcome back everyone to the most prestigious face and physique contest in the country. (Dapat may twang yung English)

Enema: We are down to our final three contestants, of course they need to have foreign blood or have grown up somewhere outside the Philippines.

Morona: Our first finalist is Miss Berlin. She is a cheerleader and is half German.. Shepherd. That’s right guys, aso ang tatay nya.
Enema: Fierce!

Miss Berlin: Good evening everyone! I joined this contest to prove that not all bitches are rabid!

Enema: Very well said. Our second finalist comes from the stars!!
Morona: Could you explain that to us Miss Cocoon?

Miss Cocoon: Yes, I am the daughter of ET and Drew Barrymore. I came to earth initially to join Miss U, but they said my head was too wide and would never fit the crown. I believe that I embody a true celestial beauty. Thank you!

Morona: Yes, you do belong in outer space where it’s dark and no one can see you. Next!

Miss Chimpanzuh: Hi everyone! I am the only plus-size model here. I am half-chimp and I want to prove that beauty comes in all sizes.

Enema: Thank you ladies, I get a hard on just by looking at you. Thank goodness they picked me as host. We will know the winner when we come back.. Don’t forget my new album out its called “Pervert Parade”

Morona: Damn, I can feel my thong riding up again. We’ll be back shortly to see who among them wins the P100 contract with Hideous Circus Co, our major sponsor.