Saturday, October 24, 2009


There’s something about writing with a fountain pen. My handwriting is as indecipherable as a physician’s, and to paraphrase my Grade 1 teacher Mrs. Rarallo,
“It im agi bagan tinaraan hin Carabao.”

Roughly translated, she was telling me that I had the worst handwriting ever. I haven’t changed much over the years, but using a fountain pen allows my strokes to be fluid and graceful- and strangely enough, my handwriting rendered almost legible. I equate using fountain pens with speaking phrases in Latin- no matter how ridiculous the statement, it still manages to sound profound.

Earlier today I took out my old clogged fountain pen, which happened to be one of my first purchases when I started working. The pen itself isn’t as handsome as one would imagine- mine is a dime-a-dozen Inoxcrom from Spain, plain silver with my name engraved on the side.

My first fountain pen was a Parker my mom gave me. Of course, knowing me, I managed to lose it within three months in my dorm locker in Yakal, or was it at the UP Village boardinghouse? I can’t trace where it is now, and to this day I haven’t told anyone because I’d surely receive a lecture about looking after my things.

Here’s what I did to unclog my old pen: I disassembled it, carefully taking out the disposable ink compartment, and placed the parts on a glass of hot water. Almost instantly the dried up ink diffused out of the pen, coloring the water a hue of violet. The color swirled as it tinged the water darker. I let it sit until it cooled.

As I lifted the pen from its bath, hours later, my fingers dripped and stained the tiles in the kitchen. My ink-stained fingers assembled its parts and tested it by writing my name on blotted paper. Lo and behold, my handwriting was suddenly fluid, beautiful, and yes, almost readable.

Friday, October 23, 2009


Tale of the Undercover Thief who Steals Old Underwear for no Reason.”


T’was a hot April afternoon when I decided to drop by the plush RCBC Plaza gym, to work up a sweat before my shift at the office. As I changed in the lockers, I noticed that although I brought my workout clothes- spare t-shirt, shorts, and rubber shoes; I forgot an extra pair of underwear.

What I was wearing was a pair of ancient “granny pants” (sorry, it was laundry day) I had since I was a freshman in college, with the garter stretched and curled like a piece of pasta. Hiding behind the locker door, and afraid someone would see me, I decided to keep my granny pants and my office clothes in the locker while I go commando in my gym clothes.

So I locked the cabinet and “bounced” all the way to the workout area. I started with the weights and the machines, carefully keeping my legs together so the one-eyed monster won’t take a peek to the outside world.

It was a rather uneventful afternoon as I listened to music while “bouncing” on the treadmill that was facing GT Tower. When I finally finished with the weights, I went to the steam room and then the showers.

With my towel wrapped around my waist, I walked to the locker area where a gym bunny was rolling deodorant under his arm while completely naked. Omg! I averted my eyes (charot!) and opened my cabinet. I took out my stuff.

Undershirt, check! Long sleeves, check! Necktie, pants, check! Wait. I froze. Then I checked everything again- inside the locker, my bag. My granny pants were missing!!!

As I checked the pocket of my bag where I kept my valuables- cell phone and wallet- the money was complete.

“Was I sure I really wore underwear kanina?” I asked myself.

Yes!!! How could I forget wearing granny pants? After checking every inch of my bag and locker, an attendant noticed my distress and approached me.

“Sir, is there a problem?”

I hesitated. What am I supposed to do, tell him I was missing my granny pants? Even if they found those it would be too embarrassing to claim ownership of that thing.

I smiled. “None, everything’s fine.”

Damn. I had to go to work commando, I’d be late for office if I go home for a pair. As I exited the locker area, I looked around the guys inside the locker room in various stages of undress.

One of these people took my underwear. I found it hard to believe because it was an upscale place, and there was certainly no shortage of underwear in the Philippines. Oh well, those granny pants had to go anyway.

I headed out with both an amused and annoyed look on my face.

Tacloban City Guide: Food

I’ve long been planning to do a city guide, and now I’m actually bored enough to do it. One of the ways one can explore and literally taste the culture of a certain place is by trying the local cuisine. Here in Tacloban, we have both a mix of traditional delicacies and an eclectic mix of foreign food in several restaurants in the city.

Here are some of my notable favorites:

Binagol, sagmani, and moron (not the same as the meaning in English!) at Cherry Refreshment- this small snack center is a dealer of native delicacies delivered fresh daily from suppliers outside Tacloban. Binagol is usually from Dagami and moron from Abuyog.

Binagol is made from talyan, a relative of gabi, with sweet coconut milk and peanuts that consist the creamy center filling. Sagmani is made of gabi I think, but without the filling, and instead of being encased in a coconut shell it is wrapped in dried banana leaves. Moron is like a chocolate version of suman. These sweets are excellent paired with coffee.Seafood at Tacloban City Market- Forget supermarkets. Robinsons and Gaisano may boast of having complete amenities and air-conditioned shopping but the best place to buy fresh-off-the-docks seafood at very low prices are from the city market. From tuna to blue marlin, to tanigue for those delectable kinilaw (our version of sushi), to mollusks, to squid, to crustaceans of various shapes and sizes, you name it, they have it.
Now, here are my favorite restaurants:

Café Teresa, Hotel Alejandro
What to try: They have a wide selection in their menu, but what I love particularly is their brewed coffee. Desserts like crepes and banana splits are excellent.

Why I love this place: The décor is tasteful, with a nice ambiance. Live piano sometimes, and the service is good too.
What makes this place unique: An authentic Italian restaurant. Well, I've only dined twice or thrice here but compared to Manila fine dining establishments- the prices are quite reasonable. From the table napkins to the attentive service, this is as close as we get to a four star restaurant here. Most of the patrons are foreigners and sosy people ;-)

Ocho, Lucky Six

What to try: You might wonder why I put two restaurants together. The reason is that both specialize with seafood dishes. In Ocho, you can buy seafood by the gram (you can even choose live seafood) and have them cook it for you.

What makes them different: Lucky Six has genuine Chinese cooking. The restaurant itself used to be Lee’s Grocery- a popular deli in Tacloban during the eighties.

Royal Seafood
What makes this place unique: Ok, so you are probably rolling your eyes by now. Seafood na naman! Royal offers excellent seafood and then some- exotic food like jungle lizards, aphrodisiacs and all that freaky stuff are available. Testicles anyone?

Sorry guys, I've never tried anything exotic except their pancit canton. Good enough for me.

What to try: Al Reem. I was expecting some sort of Arabic food but this is actually a cross between a drink and a dessert. Topped with cherry and cream, a mix of syrup, pineapple bits, kiwi, and some other ingredients (sorry, I’m no food expert)- it just teases your buds and goes down smoothly.

Other dishes to try: They have kebabs, fajitas, and rice dishes with either seafood or beef- your choice, of course.

What to try: Rhum ribs are excellent (and good enough for 3 people), also noteworthy are the nachos and tacos. Yum!

Why I love this place: Very quaint and cozy place where you can have those chats with friends. I also love red iced tea, and the fact that they serve beer during noon. Haha!
What to try: I love their pasta. They have generous servings so make sure you haven’t eaten yet.

What’s special about it: The interior looks really nice. Though I have visited the place only once, I was particularly happy with the service overall.Stick around for more of my city guide. My fingers ache from too much typing lol!
Image Credits: Anton Diaz (native delicacies), Rommel Cabrera (Zai)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

To Market

What can you buy with 500 pesos nowadays? I usually go to the market myself unless busy with school. And though the Tacloban City Market isn’t exactly the most fragrant place to be, I wanted to see how much food I can buy for that budget. Here’s what I got:

Cabbage- P50 1 kilo
Onion- P17.50 ¼ kilo
Tomato- P9.50 ¼ kilo
Garlic- P12.50 ¼ kilo
Ginger- P13 ¼ kilo
Okra- P10
Pumpkin- P20 ½

Chorizo- P25/ dozen
Chicken- P120 whole
Daing- P60 ¼ kilo
Fish- P40 ½ kilo
Alimango- P120 1 kilo

I guess one of the perks of living in a coastal city is having very affordable (imagine, Buranday- a variety of Mussels cost only P20 ½ kilo) seafood- a personal favorite. Fish and crustaceans are better to eat than pork, I’d like to think- less fattening. The ones I bought should last a few days for our household.

The alimango was still alive when I bought it, and I was worried they’d slip out of the bag (their pinchers were held in place only by rubber bands) and I’d have to chase them around the jeepney to catch them. Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

With a little malunggay plucked from our front yard and few cups of coconut milk- the alimango was good to go! Image credit: Tacloban Market(above) by Gary Landry

Tadjao Beach

The town of Tolosa (infamous Imelda's hometown) is about 30 minutes from Tacloban. There are plenty of nice beaches (some open to the public, while some charge for a minimal amount of Php50 for entrance) and resorts like Olot Beach Club and Tadjao, pictured above.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Writing, dreaming, living

Meeting someone from high school automatically activates my instinct for comparing our life’s trajectory. There are always a few surprises- the most demure girl turned out to be the first among us to become a parent, the homely guy in the back unexpectedly turned into a good-looking eligible bachelor, and one of the brightest in our class quit med school to pursue a different career path. The irresistible question would suddenly pop out unbidden from my mouth, “So are you happy with your life?”

Some would answer, some would only shrug. If you ask me, one of the most precocious students back in the days, I’d say- “I’m doing okay.” My life had always been work in progress, and maybe it’s true, no one can say they’ve lived in complete and consistent state of bliss. Without discontent, we’d stop moving forward. Without disappointments we’d never introspect and correct what went wrong. Without goodbyes we can never move on to new chapters in our lives. Priorities change, people change.

So what’s in store for us ahead? How far we go in life is entirely up to us. Many people head for the stars with no intent to sweat it out, and often they stay in exactly the same place where they started. Dreams often remain dreams unless actualized with hard work.

In any case, we all have the capacity for happiness. That’s the point isn’t it? No one except ourselves can define what it is that brings us fulfillment and bliss. And so we learn to cope, to enjoy, and to aspire to be more and live our flawed lives the best we can.

17 October 2009
Tacloban City

Friday, October 16, 2009

Why it's Always Better on the Other Side

I remember a time when my mom nearly beat the crap out of me for two reasons: first, she got home to find her make-up kit ransacked and in complete disarray, and second- every shade of her eyeshadow and blush-on were caked on my face.

I was eight. What really happened was that my fourteen year-old female cousin decided to make a Barbie out of me. She wrapped the kumot around my scrawny frame and put make-up on my face, then asked me to parade around the room while she chanted “Miss Universe!”

I thought I was so cool, looking so pretty. That was, of course until my mom walked in and manhandled me to the bathroom to forcibly wash my face while I was crying and mascara was running all over my face.

Throughout high school, she grew more concerned of me as I grew into an adolescent. She was worried that I’d have a hard life if I was indeed gay, so both my parents did what they thought they could to “straighten me up”. They would show disapproval especially if I showed signs of being effeminate- which actually never quite changed me, instead made me just even more skilled at hiding it.

When she celebrated her 50th birthday and I was all grown up, I finally had the courage to tell her that I’m gay. I mean, this orientation was certainly not my deliberate choosing, and I still refuse to believe the notion that gay people are simply maladjusted or have some sort of personality problem. People can label me all they want, but for me the two most important things were that I accepted myself (how else would I have self respect?) and that my mom at least acknowledge it.

She did. And all those years of my struggles, my overcompensating by becoming an overachiever just because I thought people would see me as worthless because I’m gay- they all faded away just as darkness fades when the sun comes up. My mom’s blessing meant so much to me, because my biggest fear was that she’d stop loving me as her son because of my orientation.

The next step of course was to come out to my friends, to come clean and finally put a stop to questions like, “Why are you not married?” or Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” There were those who applauded my honesty, there were those who were apathetic, and finally others who were disgusted. I suppose everyone has a right to their own opinion and how they feel about things, but as far as I’m concerned- it is so liberating to finally be myself. I have repressed a large part of who I am just because I was afraid people would not like me- now, all I can say is “better for people to hate me for who I am, rather than like me for who I am not.”

My mom’s acceptance and understanding taught me the value of unconditional love and how very few people have that. After I came out, I felt like I could just share a laugh or enjoy a friend’s company without worries. My mom taught me I’m just as worthy a person as everybody else.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Learn to Fly

Following the conclusion of our 1st semester, I was able to finish the unedited manuscript for Learn to Fly. I hope the production is done by November, this time the dimensions are smaller- 4x5 inches only with 123 pages. The target is that the SRP is only Php 100 so ordinary students can afford it.

Sa kakulitan ko, I've asked McVie for a foreword para makadagdag ng credibility haha! Joke, actually sa mga gustong magbigay ng review I can send the PDF file. Reminder,di pa tapos ang pad-edit nito so be kind. May short feedback form lang that you have to accomplish so I can make improvements sa font size/style for example, or which articles to include, etc. Thanks in advance to those interested (kindly give me your e-mail address please, where I can send the PDF file).

May konting feeling ako na may bloopers, pero like my friend always says, "Go lang ng go!" Eh di go!

Friday, October 9, 2009


A striking article from Psychotherapist Dennis Portnoy.
Is your personality causing you to burn out?

Jim’s skin is hot and prickly as he gets increasingly agitated. His legs nervously tap under the table as he struggles to contain himself. The meeting had been going on only fifteen minutes and it was not mandatory for Jim to attend this meeting, yet he feels compelled to take over the direction of the meeting because no resolution is being reached.

Jim admits he is a “control freak” who gets overly involved with work. What he does not realize is how his difficulty tolerating uncertainty interferes with his ability to relax and recognize his limits.

You can take courses on time management and attend seminars on stress management techniques and still suffer from burnout. These strategies are often helpful, but will not lead to lasting changes if you do not address personality traits that foster stress. Much of the literature on burnout focuses more on external pressures than on self- imposed stress. While external pressures such as a demanding workload, juggling personal and professional life, unclear job responsibilities do contribute to stress and burnout, so do beliefs and personality traits. Jim’s worries about uncertainty and lack of control were driving him to burnout. Even authors who write about personality characteristics that cause stress tend to emphasize overt and extreme behaviors such as the type A personality- overly driven, highly competitive, aggressive and obsessed with work. There are many burnout prone people, however, with personalities who do not fit this profile. The most prominent personality characteristics that contribute to burnout are exaggerated responsibility, self-judgement and self-definition. Below you will see how these three traits influence each other.

exaggerated sense of responsibility

Throughout our lives we are told how important it is to be responsible. Being too responsible, however, can hurt you and others. Taking on too much responsibility can make you prone to over work and intolerant of your imperfections. You take on too much and overlook your limits. Exaggerated responsibility can also cause you to feel obligated, guilty about your needs and bad about yourself when you are not giving your best. Being overly responsible often interferes with your ability to relinquish control and an excessive need for control fosters burnout because you cannot relax and take your limits seriously. Jim’s need for control showed up as a need to always be on top of things and difficulty tolerating uncertainty or unpredictability. You may tell yourself, “if I do not do everything myself it will not get done correctly.” Your lack of trust causes you to take on too much, interferes with your ability to delegate and creates tension with others.

Rescuing and caretaking are manifestations of over-control. You get overly invested with work and with fixing situations. Your attempts to create harmony, fix problems or improve someone’s mood are often an attempt to regain control and distance from feelings of powerlessness. You are the one who is always trying to make peace. Doing too much for people does not help them because it often interferes with their ability to be accountable for their lives. Exaggerated responsibility may increase performance in the short run, but will decrease your effectiveness over time. So if being too responsible causes so many problems, why can’t we stop?

Exaggerated responsibility often develops in response to difficult family circumstances. Kids who grow up in families where there is chaos or lack of predictability often cope by becoming super responsible. Jim’s childhood was unpredictable and filled with tension. Several nights a week he was in charge of bringing his intoxicated father home from the local bar. He also watched his parents fight. This reinforced his need to be responsible, in control and belief that he could only count on himself.

You also take on adult responsibilities to help the family if your parents are struggling to make ends meet, This can include helping run the family business, doing housework or taking care of younger siblings. Your parents can be very caring yet preoccupied, causing you to rely on yourself at a young age to get many of your needs met. You may feel that it is your fault if problems arise and view your needs as further burdening your parents.

The roles of caretaker, confidante or the one that provides stability for the family foster exaggerated responsibility. You learn to measure your worth and define yourself by being strong, competent and dependable. If you were encouraged to be strong and self reliant, being vulnerable or needing others may cause you to feel shame or less worthy. When you do not live up to a responsible self- image or if you let someone down, you may feel like a failure. It can be an overwhelming burden when adults expect you to provide strength and comfort and put you in charge of their wellbeing. If you had to be strong or super responsible growing up, you may have difficulty recognizing your limits and needs for support. Being able to ask for and receive support, whether it mean asking someone to listen to your troubles and concerns or offer practical assistance, is a key ingredient for promoting self-care and counteracting burnout.

exaggerated sense of responsibility and your history

You can tell whether you take on too much responsibility by asking the following questions:

* Do you accept yourself at times when you are not dependable or competent? For example, how would you feel about yourself if you did not complete an assignment?

* What were your parents’ spoken and unspoken messages about the importance of being self-sufficient versus relying on others?

* Think of some problem situations that were unresolved where you felt responsible for the outcome, and felt compelled to fix it. Try to recall how you felt in these times. Now imagine resisting your impulse to change or improve the outcome. When you are not acting so responsible, do you feel like a failure or guilty? Does your self esteem decrease?

* Picture being less responsible when you were younger. What if you had refused to listen to your mother’s problems or were less helpful with chores? Would you have faced disapproval, withdrawal of attention, punishment? Would your family situation be less harmonious or more chaotic?

* How productive, strong, responsible and competent do you need to be to feel good about yourself? How do you feel about yourself when these qualities are lacking?

* Does being less productive or strong make you feel out of control?

* What were your parent’s spoken and unspoken expectations about your performance? Did they expect you to get all “A’s”? Excessive parental expectations can foster exaggerated responsibility.


Late at night Judy lies in bed restlessly, unable to sleep. Two weeks into her new job, she is feeling nervous day and night. She is obsessed with trying to make sure that nothing goes wrong and that no one sees her make a mistake. She has to prove to everyone, including herself, that she is worthwhile. Judy believes that she is a failure if anything goes wrong. She needs to realize how never being appreciated growing up causes her to think that self worth comes from perfection.

If you are a perfectionist you push yourself, get overscheduled, promise too many things to too many people, or take on too much work. You judge yourself harshly when you fall short of your expectations or when you make mistakes. You probably would not treat someone you care about in the harsh manner that you treat yourself. You learn to measure your worth by your performance and equate excelling with deserving attention or praise if your parents rewarded you primarily for excelling.

The pursuit of excellence is different from a relentless need to be the best. When you seek perfection and cannot measure up to your ideal, your self- esteem decreases. Developing realistic standards and self- compassion go a long way to counteract stress that leads to burnout.

When you make mistakes, notice how do you feel about yourself. Notice the ways that you talk to yourself when you fall short of your ideal. You may not recognize that your standards for yourself are excessive. Pay attention during the day to the ways you tell yourself how you did not do something well enough or how you could have done things better. Has anyone else ever spoken to you in this way? You may have internalized the ways that your parent’s spoke to you. Now picture someone else talking to you the way you speak to yourself. Chances are you would not tolerate them talking to you in this same manner.

Ask yourself these questions:

How much do family and societal expectations of who I should be run my life?

What were their spoken and unspoken expectations of you?

How did your parents respond to you when you did not live up to their expectations?

How comfortable are you being average? If being average is unacceptable, why?

What were the behaviors that got you noticed and respect?


We live in a society that measures worth by what you do rather than who you are. We are taught the measure of success has more to do with your image and what you produce than on internal qualities such as honesty, humor, or perceptiveness. This teaches you to define yourself by your achievements and by externally imposed ideas of how and who we should be. If your sense of identity and worth comes mainly from external criteria you are likely to overlook your needs and limits.

Corporate culture often reinforces the idea that your personal value is based on what you produce. If you grew up in a family that reinforces these cultural values, you learn to define yourself by others standards and validation. Judy’s view of herself was based on other people’s validation and not her own. The only way she got recognized growing up was when she excelled. She sought validation through her achievements. If your parents place a lot more value on your outer behaviors than on your innermost feelings and concerns, your desire for their approval causes you to adopt their ideas of how you should be rather than discovering your own values. You may equate your with self worth with measuring up to others’ standards. For example, you may think that if you conform to society’s ideas of how you should look, then you are acceptable. If you feel like you are not measuring up, you may compensate by pushing yourself in order to prove to the world and to yourself that you are okay.

Aside from your parents, you may also be trying to please friends and co-workers. Your relationship with peers can cause you to be externally directed. If you experienced being teased or left out by peers as a teenager a lot of your focus may be on being included and accepted. So when teens ostracize someone, that person can work extra hard to fit in as an adult. Your desire to be liked, accepted, to fit in, and measure up to some standard can lead to burnout. You can become too involved with work, give too much, push yourself and overlook your limits. The solution is to become more internally directed and self -validating. You do this by recognizing and valuing your intrinsic qualities, and by challenging cultural and parental messages.

Challenge your assumptions by asking yourself the following questions:

How important is it that others like you, and how do you feel when you are not liked? Can you accept and approve of yourself even when others do not accept you?

What thoughts and feelings get evoked when you contemplate rejecting or questioning your parents’ values? Do you have criteria about what makes you a worthwhile person that differs from your parent’s or the criteria of the society?,/P>

What “inner” qualities do you value about yourself that are unrelated to what other’s value in you? Examples include intelligence, resourcefulness, humor, and perceptiveness.

On a sheet of paper write, “what makes me a worthwhile human being?”

Then write a list of qualities, omitting achievements and what you do for others. Notice if this is difficult, and, if so, why?

Judy was frustrated and sad when she tried this exercise because she couldn’t identify intrinsic qualities in herself.


Once you are aware of the beliefs and outdated coping strategies that cause you to become too invested in outcomes, push yourself too hard, overachieve, you have the opportunity to challenge them. You can recognize hidden forces that interfere with your ability to set limits and attend to your emotional needs as they are occurring in the moment. You can stop being so responsible and can developing realistic standards.

It is important to distinguish between past and current realities while reminding yourself that perceived threats are outdated. For example, when you do not perform well it does not mean you do not count or that you are less than someone else. If you do not separate past threats from the current reality, you will continue to act as if childhood consequences still exist in your adult life. Your identity and sense of worth is often shaped by family roles. For example, being in a confidante role for a parent could make you feel special, valued and connected to that parent. To be less responsible or perfect may pose a threat to your emotional survival and identity. Choosing not to listen to mom’s problems could result in losing your special connection and your sense of usefulness. The same can be said about the role of the strong one. If you did not go along with your assigned role and were less responsible, you may have lost connection with your parent’s .You may feel guilty for letting them down if you were not so responsible and strong and they were unhappy. Without realizing it, you may fear that being less responsible will cause you to be all alone or overwhelmed with helplessness. You may be convinced that being average or making a mistake will mean no one will value you. If you do not over achieve, you will not be valued. Jim, who I mentioned in the beginning, grew up with unstable caretakers where uncertainty led to chaos. He was unaware of how past influences still impact his adult behavior, and how always being in control is how he deals with the helplessness from his upbringing. The reason why Jim was unable to relax and relinquish control was because uncertainty associated with his upbringing. Your rational thoughts often have a logic that is different from your feelings. Even though his rational mind knew that uncertainty would not lead to harmful consequences, on an emotional level Jim was convinced the threat is real for all time and in all situations.

Learning to listen to yourself

Listening to your inner self is a powerful antidote to burnout. It is hard to do when you are too concerned with being liked or with other’s perceptions of you. These habits keep you focused externally and this prevents you from paying attention to your inner world. Another reason you may avoid accessing your inner world is because this causes you to experience uncomfortable emotions. You tune out and deflect your attention away from loneliness, boredom, or areas of your life where you feel dissatisfaction by making work the center of your life. You can get so busy and focused on what is immediately in front of you that you do not take the time to listen to your feelings and your body. Sometimes you are able to hear your internal signals, but your agenda or obsessive focus on getting things done takes priority. By learning to listen to your body, feelings and intuition you can access and be guided by a deeper knowing about what is best for your well being. Your bodily sensations and emotions tell you when you need to slow down, exercise, set a limit, what to and not to eat, whether to be social or alone. You discover needs that are both general and specific in the moment. For example, you desire more supportive friendships or for a specific friend to be more supportive in the moment. The type of information that is revealed from deep listening is different from desires that are based on an impulse for instant gratification or escape.

Burnout begins gradually and occurs in stages. At first, you feel irritable, disillusioned, less energy, and life feels less fun. You think about work more when you are not at work, get physical symptoms like headaches and colds, and are less idealistic. In more advanced stages you may experience feelings of overwhelm and often get sick. You may be so numb or distracted by busyness that you are unaware of accumulating stress. If you are like most people, you only become concerned about burnout in the advanced stages when your health or important relationship is in danger. When you listen to your body and emotions that are not colored by childhood distortions, you detect the early warning signs of burnout. You will choose what is best for you and pay attention to what you really need. Taking the time to become attuned to your inner life fosters self care and is an antidote to a burnout personality. There are many times when you will not be able to change external circumstances that are stressful. However, you can minimize the negative effects of stress and learn to take care of yourself in ways that make you more resilient to external pressures. You accomplish this by counteracting beliefs and habits that foster burnout and that throw your life out of balance.


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