A Conversation With an Angel

I was about to say my evening prayer, when a sudden radiance filled the room. I squinted my eyes.

“God?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“The devil?”

“Eww no, he’s stalking someone else at the moment. I’m your angel.”

I sat up. “Really? Are you sure I’m not simply going crazy?”

“Pinch yourself.” The voice said.

“So why have you come?” I wondered.

“I was checking on you. The Big Boss says hi.”

“I was just about to tell Him I did well in school this week. I studied my lessons-“

“Liar”, he interrupted. “You study the last minute every time.”

“I still get good marks-“

“Don’t count on it. Your GWA is slipping.”

“No it’s not. I’ve got a few aces left.”

“Namely?”

“PH, Lit, Physics-“

(Snorts) “How did Physics become your ace?”

“I get the answers correctly.”

“But your solutions are out-of-this-world. I remember the last time, you changed the sign of the gravitational acceleration constant.”

“Well, the object was going upward, so it had to be positive.”

“Constants are constants, Thad. Physics is a science, not creative writing.”
“Well, speaking of which, I did finish my short story ahead of time. That should give me some points.”
“I guess I can give you that.”

“Plus”, I added, “I haven’t slept with a guy in a long time.”

He raises an eyebrow. “But if you meet Jon Mullaly and he asks you, you’d say yes.”

“Not before marriage.” I demurred.
Angel: “Charing!”

I tucked my legs inside the comforter. “Can I ask a question?” I said.

“What is it?”

“What does God think about gay people?”

He pauses for a moment. “He never really told us.”

“Can I ask another question?”

“Yes?”
“Do angels have sex organs? I’m just curious if the movie Dogma was correct.”

“Bastos ka talaga.”

“No really, tell me.”

I hardly was able to finish my sentence when the radiance burst and dissipated. All that was left was a single white feather on my pillow.