Photo to the left: lesbian couple.
Girl: Hon, ang bango ko no? Bagong ligo kasi.. Do you wanna...
Pa-Girl: Hon, are my legs too bony? Damn! Naubos na ang hair remover cream ko, leche. Babes, may I use your Sally Hansen na lang muna?
Girl: HUH?
Pa-Girl: Fly muna aketch sa CR! Kailangan ko na mag-wax ever! Are you sure I don't look fat in this robe?
Girl: HUH?
6 He knows more about make-up than you. “Hon, use brow powder, instead of brow pencil, its less shiny.. Revlon foundation is the best! Try the Age-defying line.” Fanny Serrano, ikaw bayan?
5 He has a suspiciously complete collection of CDs of Divas like Mariah, Whitney, Madonna, Kylie minogue, Regine, Lani Misalucha, and Cher. At avah! Alam nyang sayawin ang “vogue” ni Madonna at marami syang trivia tungkol sa mga idols nya.
4 Talakera. I haven’t encountered a straight guy who talks too much.. At daig nya pa si Ate Nole Marin at si Miss J Alexander ng ANTM kung mag-critique.
3 He uses Chenellyn, Chuvaness, Chuvannes-kemfet-nga-green, Echos, Chuvannay, Tiennes, Charmosity, and other gay lingo terms too much as a filler. “Babes, dun na lang tayo mag-dinner sa Fridays, ‘di ko bet ang place na ito! Marumi ang sink at ang chuva nila!” It could start innocently enough, dropping a word or two. Next thing you know he goes, “Anich itey! Ang chaka-ever ng bar-lalu na itetch. Mother, fly na lang tayesh sa Malate mas feel ko ang men, este crowd doon.” Yikes!
2 Mas maganda pa sya sa yo! Kung pageant ito, runner-up ka lang. Gay people are obsessed about appearances. If he starts asking you for the tenth time if the shirt he tried on makes him look fat, Heads up! Tatalbugan ka ng lola mo.
1 He is more interested in the cute waiter’s butt than your cleavage. Kilala nya kung sino sina Bret Mycles, Lukas Ridgeston, at Matthew Rush. Girl, hindi sila mga bayani ng America. If I were you, I’d bail out of that relationship- you are just his beard. But stay friends with him naman, malay mo magaling na stylist pala si lokah! Baka bigyan ka pa ng tips on how to please a man. Etching!
5 He has a suspiciously complete collection of CDs of Divas like Mariah, Whitney, Madonna, Kylie minogue, Regine, Lani Misalucha, and Cher. At avah! Alam nyang sayawin ang “vogue” ni Madonna at marami syang trivia tungkol sa mga idols nya.
4 Talakera. I haven’t encountered a straight guy who talks too much.. At daig nya pa si Ate Nole Marin at si Miss J Alexander ng ANTM kung mag-critique.
3 He uses Chenellyn, Chuvaness, Chuvannes-kemfet-nga-green, Echos, Chuvannay, Tiennes, Charmosity, and other gay lingo terms too much as a filler. “Babes, dun na lang tayo mag-dinner sa Fridays, ‘di ko bet ang place na ito! Marumi ang sink at ang chuva nila!” It could start innocently enough, dropping a word or two. Next thing you know he goes, “Anich itey! Ang chaka-ever ng bar-lalu na itetch. Mother, fly na lang tayesh sa Malate mas feel ko ang men, este crowd doon.” Yikes!
2 Mas maganda pa sya sa yo! Kung pageant ito, runner-up ka lang. Gay people are obsessed about appearances. If he starts asking you for the tenth time if the shirt he tried on makes him look fat, Heads up! Tatalbugan ka ng lola mo.
1 He is more interested in the cute waiter’s butt than your cleavage. Kilala nya kung sino sina Bret Mycles, Lukas Ridgeston, at Matthew Rush. Girl, hindi sila mga bayani ng America. If I were you, I’d bail out of that relationship- you are just his beard. But stay friends with him naman, malay mo magaling na stylist pala si lokah! Baka bigyan ka pa ng tips on how to please a man. Etching!
1 comment:
Your writing is very good, Thad! :) I totally understood what you're saying here even if I'm not Tagalog, LOL.
Keep blogging!
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