Saturday, June 9, 2007

Post-emancipation



Craziness aside, I’m actually quite pleased of what this blog has accomplished so far. I came out (which was the primary purpose), I met a lot of interesting blog buddies (you guys know who you are ; ) I was able to say what I had to say, had good site traffic (3,876 views in 23 days), and was able to interact with other gay bloggers (Legends in my book- I've always browsed MGG and Misterhubs way before I started blogging). After my friend Mark published a letter I wrote in his blog, I thought, why not create mine?

I’m almost at my 100th post (wonder why that is significant for me?) and I have to say I’ve had a blast! Some of my posts were a bit serious, some catty, some silly, some sad, some paying tribute to the people I admire, and some with typos (yikes!). I’ve had good and bad feedback, compliments and insults thrown my way- and I’m still here.

When I started this, I’ve always envisioned it to be a tool that would give a perspective of the life of a typical gay person (I know there are a lot of us, and we are all different, but this will be a start for them). I think one of the reasons why most people fail to give the respect gay people are entitled to, is because they have very limited knowledge. They fail to see that there are a lot more sides to us than our sexual orientation. I bet few of them are aware of the difficulty of coming out, the weariness of being the subject of ridicule for being effeminate, or the frustration of not being able to experience the regular things in life like getting married or having a kid.

From my experience, here in the province, if you are 14 and gay, even if you have the best grades or even if you are a good son, all they will see is a Bayot. (Visayan term for a gay man) That’s how they will identify you, and that’s how they will think of you till you prove that you are more than that.

I recently invited some straight teenagers to view my blog (you’ve got to hand it to me to be that tenacious), and the responses I got were similar- First they were surprised I was gay, second, they said it was a gutsy thing to do to come out, and third, that they learned new things about gay people. Who knew there were Parloristas and Pamintas? These are certainly not taught in the classroom.

School starts in a few days for me, and the number of entries I publish will definitely lessen. I’m happy with my new-found freedom and I hope that you (whoever is reading this) will also have the courage to be your most authentic self. I still have a lot to learn, but it sure is fun being able to share my experiences with a lot of you. Till my next post! ; )

9 comments:

MISTERHUBS said...

I look forward to your next 100 posts. Your blog is one of the few ones I regularly visit. :-)

Phoenix said...

Thanks Misterhubs, I appreciate that ; ) The whole experience did bring some new clarity for me as to why I want to continue blogging. You were right with your previous comment- one can be the bigger person and not get into that whole squabble. After all, no amount of rational arguing can change this person's behavior. I may not have control of his/her actions, but I have control over mine = )

Reyville said...

I don't know what emotions u have when u wrote this post but I somehow got an idea. It seemed to me that you are too burdened by the idea that if, and I hope it’s not gonna happen anyway, you can’t accomplish big in the future, the people around you (or the denizens of your province) will just think of you as another bayot and that obviously affects your self-assurance. I understand the pressure you feel inside and I’m sure there came a time that you question why you are created as such. Sometimes it makes me feel bad that people can never understand how people like us feel, though they’re actually trying. But it’s just part of the culture and culture cannot be changed in an instant, it takes time. I actually believe that u have potentials and I hope you'll not only persevere to tell others you can achieve more but because you just want to achieve more. I wanna tell you that we’re on the same shoes and I wish you all the best in life. Just don’t lose your FOCUS. Whatever you feel, just BLOG it and I can surely offer some help if u need whatever assistance.

Phoenix said...

My sentiments exactly, Reyville. Remember when women were just regarded as wives and should just stay home and raise children (that was their only job apparently)? Well, that time has passed, now we have women executives, diplomats, and presidents. We certainly need to remove the stereotypes and the notions that gay people are weak. True, it takes time for change to happen- but it has to start somewhere. I'm certainly going to do what I can to "advance our position". Ok, Ang Ladlad did not make it to the Congress or Senate.. but we still can use other ways to let ourselves be heard. It just saddens me to see the stereotyping still happening at present. Shame and self-loathing can definitely be eliminated if our young "sisters" are well informed.. And people might learn to treat us better if they begin to understand our plight. Thank you for your insights.

Reyville said...

I'm certainly with you! U know what everybody needs? RESPECT... So I hope, with crossed fingers, that this new gay generation marks the beginning of well-informed and respectful gay guys. We need not create another association/group, we can simply show the world we can do better with our own little ways. So go PHOENIX (thads), be one good example.

JOSH said...

just to congratulate you on ur centenary post! Gud luck on school & may you graduate with flying colors ( of d rainbow! )

Mark Xander said...

Thadie! :)

the spy in the sandwich said...

been such a long time since your last post. thadie, you okay?

Phoenix said...

Thanks for the concern = ) Yup, busy-busyhan lang haha! I can't believe the semester has just started and we were swamped with work right away.. I've installed a twitter so I can at least say hello once in a while.. not too sure though about new entries.. Haven't had much time to sleep lately.. magsulat ewan ko na lang ; ) Thanks again guys! I noticed the counter still registers that this blog is still being read kahit walang bagong posts for now = ) Thank you, thank you talaga.

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