Friday, September 21, 2007

Stories

I started off on the wrong foot. I arrived, meticulously packed (first aid kit, check! change of clothes, check! food and water, check! kikay kit, check!) and an hour late. The assembly place was empty because everyone had left. Determined not to put my efforts to waste, I persuaded one of the senior members at the club to hitch me a ride. I gracelessly rode the back of his motorcycle (with my 10 ton backpack swaying from side to side and bringing my body with it), praying I won’t fall and get run over by the ten wheeler trying to overtake us.

-From City Girl Gets Trapped in the Boondocks with Unattractive Men

The “Katrina”
He has more sexual conquests than the maximum number of permutations of a ten digit electronic raffle. Ilan yon? Hmmm nPr= 3,628,800. Ibang level na ito. If you feel an itch somewhere have it checked pronto! Di 'yan sign ng paparating na pera gagah!

-From the article Six Guys to Avoid

“Your place?” I smiled, suddenly shy. With the slightest movement he brushes his hand on my arm, I look and him and I knew, we weren’t gonna make it to his place, it had to happen now. The next thing I know my hands were fumbling with his belt, trying to get Junior out, much to his delight. He stepped on the gas pedal as the traffic lights turned green. And then I did something I will never, ever forget as long as I live- I brought my head down and made him the happiest guy on the highway.

- From Dunkin Donuts and Fastlove

Straight guys simply just have an assumption that they are “pogi” regardless of how they actually look. Yes it’s stupid, but true. And it works- on girls and even on us. I doubt if they have self-esteem issues like females do. And maybe that’s what girls look for- a guy who can take care of them, who is sure of himself and one who lacks insecurities. For our people, I’m pretty sure they are looking for someone who is less fussy than they are. How do I know? Reliable sources told me some PLUs in school had a crush on me prior to coming out. As soon as my “straight image” faded, so did the glances. I thought: I can never tell for sure if my theory is correct, so I’ll test it.

- From The X Factor

Mahal, still tipsy, was still worried about the challenge. She still has no clue what to bring the next day. She looked over at Mystica who was sleeping spread-eagled. “Aha! Alam ko na!” She crawls over to Mystica and suddenly thrusts her chubby hands between the hostess’s legs, intending to take out the “placenta”. “AAAAeeeeeee!” The whole room awakens. Mystica, outraged, whipped out her talons and dismembers poor Mahal.

Selena tries to save her friend but Mystica’s claws were already on her throat. Madame Auring throws her body at Mystica and Selena but the sheer impact brought shockwaves that damaged the flat’s roof. The whole building caves in and with this Cycle 2 ends.

- From Wanna be on Top? PNTM Cycle 2

The wind was cold on my cheeks as we walked towards the beach. I had taken my shirt off in the bar, but I was too drunk to care about going back and retrieving it.
Yuri's hand was warm and I locked my fingers and leaned close to him. We were silent, and I could only hear the music faintly thumping from the bars a distance away.
He gestures and we sit on the sand. I could only see the light of the moon reflecting in those eyes. My thoughts were wrapped in a cloud that floated lazily in my mind. It seemed things moved in slow motion to me. I turned to look at his face as I placed my hand on the buckle of his belt.

- From The Look of Love

“Talaga Boss?” He smiles with those teasing lips, and his chinito eyes get even chinkier.
Thad 2: “Sheeeet ate, ‘di ko na kaya to! Love ko na sya! I love you, Jon!”
I try to focus my thoughts. Talk about his performance; stop looking at his crotch, you fool!
“Yes, I really think you have potential to be one of the leaders in the group. With consistent good performance, I bet a promotion is just around the corner.”
I blabber some more as I sit there drinking the sights. With his ego pumped up, he sat straighter. Nice shoulders, I thought.
Thad 1: “Stop looking at him like he’s meat, perv.”
Thad 2: “Girl, hawakan mo ang kamay!!”
“I’m really impressed.” I say, and then I softly pat his arm. “How did you find the experience finally taking live calls on the floor?” I asked, blinking my eyes flirtatiously.

- From Konsensya

I tucked my legs inside the comforter. “Can I ask a question?” I said.

“What is it?”

“What does God think about gay people?”

He pauses for a moment. “He never really told us.”

“Can I ask another question?”

- From A Conversation with An Angel

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