Tuesday, September 18, 2007

In Retrospect..

It’s been four months since I came out, and I thought it would be interesting to note the changes that occurred, if at all there were any. Like a bright-eyed sophomore, I anticipated that my move would change the way people would see me, and how they perceive gay people in general.

For the first two months of the present semester I was met by a variety of reactions, from shock, to disgust, to indifference, and eventually acceptance. The word about my blog reached the ears of some of the faculty members; this bit of information I learned from my Anatomy teacher (after which I hurried home and removed my risqué hot men pictures). I was even indulged in a discourse with my Theology professor who insisted in seeing me, partly because she wanted to know how I was doing, and partly because she was curious of how I felt last semester during her discussions on books like Leviticus which denounce homosexuality.

After some objectionable episodes happened in the classroom, I was hoping that my articles about gay life that were published would make an impact to people. The question remains: were there any changes in people’s perceptions at all?

Just yesterday this happened: Instructor 1 was discussing the mechanics of the next PRS (bed bathing and effleurage). Instructor 2 asks: “Sir, what about those people who belong to the third sex? Are they going to be partnered with their other classmates?

At any other time I would have raised my objections, but I thought: What’s the point? I have tried to convince practically anyone who would listen that sexual orientation should not be an issue, but apparently the culture here is stronger. I simply turned back to my readings, not out of contempt or resignation, but simply of my decision to do better things with my time.

Third sex, bayot- the words meant to refer to and debase gay people no longer conjure any feelings of indignation in me. Though I still believe people’s attitudes may change- I also know it won’t happen overnight. The say you can’t control how other people would feel or act; you can only control yourself. I guess I did change, I’ve learned to focus my energies on doing something constructive, instead of engaging in pointless debates and discussions. For now, that will do.


chase said...

i really admire your courage to come out thad.
i will also do that when the time comes. maybe next year. hehe.
i would love to hear more about these kind of stories.
stories of reaction from people who just know who you really truly are.

Phoenix said...

@ chase: coming out.. that's a really personal matter- you really have to determine if you want it for yourself. others naman are just comfortable with the way things are, but personally i think its better on the other side. now i don't have to hide anything = ) and now it's not an issue or a big deal anymore

chase said...

correct. i'm already tired of hiding na nga


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