Repression, pressure, responsibilities..
The reasons why I blog had evolved in the span of three months: I came out through it, I attempted to entertain readers, but through it all one thing was constant- my blog remained my journal and my confidant.
Memories, small victories, failures, experiences, observations, opinions, kalandians, every tear, every laugh, every hue that colored my life found its way in this corner of cyberspace. I’ve allowed myself to be completely transparent in my blog.
There would always be a reason why I can’t just blurt things out in real life- but here, I can say anything I want (provided that I take responsibility, of course). Strangely, I feel comfort at the thought that people do hear me, however remotely. Maybe discrimination against gay people won’t ever go away completely, but at least I get to speak about those experiences here, and sometimes that is enough for me.
But it’s not always so serious.. I’ve always imagined I’d meet him through my blog. Here are the favorite scenarios I play in my head:
I am walking nonchalantly and a guy approaches me.
Hunky guy: “Are you Thad? I love your blog..”
Thad (smiling shyly) : “Er, thanks.”
Hunky guy: “Now turn around so I can screw you silly.”
A popular young playboy comes up to my table as I’m having my lunch.
Playboy: “Baby, I’ve left all my girlfriends for you. They all pale in comparison.. You are Aphrodite’s incarnation!”
Thad (batting my lashes): “If you say so.”
Playboy: “May I kiss your hands?”
Thad: “But of course!”
I seemed to have digressed, so I’ll just wrap it up. My blog is where I whisper all the things in my mind, and I hope that wind blows far, and touch other people.