I know that’s a song title. Lol! For some reason, I’ve been a little pensive these days. Listening to love songs, sitting on my bed and just going through my old things (you see, I was in the process of cleaning my room).
Grabe, ang bilis ng panahon- mag 2008 na pala ano? That means I also turn 28 next year. I still can’t believe it. So this is how it feels to be old! Hahaha sorry, I just got used to being young that I thought I’d be 25 forever. Unless I get into a party where everyone is 40, I don’t think I’d have that feeling back.
This probably also explains why I’ve had these “hormonal surges” telling me to settle down. Let’s face it- I’m already at the marrying age and the best age to have kids (so that if he finishes college I’d still be… 48?). Of course, that remains to be a big question mark. When my Lola asks when I’m getting married- I look at her, and even without explaining the whole ‘I’m queer situation’ I simply and honestly say, “I don’t know.” I really don’t.
In a way, I sort of envy the life of generic straight people. You’re born, you grow up, go to school, have a girlfriend, marry her, have kids, and die. Cut and dried. No coming out, no sneaky dating, no thoughts of IVF. Simple, right?
But despite the whole situation, I was just thinking, there are other things on the table. I still can live a meaningful life without necessarily following the norm. I forget I’m good with weird things and unconventional paths.
So it’s settled then, I’ll carry on this very queer path I’ve taken and still give it 200%.
Grabe, ang bilis ng panahon- mag 2008 na pala ano? That means I also turn 28 next year. I still can’t believe it. So this is how it feels to be old! Hahaha sorry, I just got used to being young that I thought I’d be 25 forever. Unless I get into a party where everyone is 40, I don’t think I’d have that feeling back.
This probably also explains why I’ve had these “hormonal surges” telling me to settle down. Let’s face it- I’m already at the marrying age and the best age to have kids (so that if he finishes college I’d still be… 48?). Of course, that remains to be a big question mark. When my Lola asks when I’m getting married- I look at her, and even without explaining the whole ‘I’m queer situation’ I simply and honestly say, “I don’t know.” I really don’t.
In a way, I sort of envy the life of generic straight people. You’re born, you grow up, go to school, have a girlfriend, marry her, have kids, and die. Cut and dried. No coming out, no sneaky dating, no thoughts of IVF. Simple, right?
But despite the whole situation, I was just thinking, there are other things on the table. I still can live a meaningful life without necessarily following the norm. I forget I’m good with weird things and unconventional paths.
So it’s settled then, I’ll carry on this very queer path I’ve taken and still give it 200%.
3 comments:
Yup, bilis talaga ang panahon. C'mon 2008, bring it on.
tonskie was a good biatch with piercing gray eyes..lol...im planning of going back to work this march, hope ill survive juggling school and work...and i hear ya about the hormonal surges ur getting right now...im 28 and time is ticking like a bomb...
thats the spirit thad!
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