Job Posting: Full Time Dad

Are we ever really ready for a job like parenting? Five minutes ago, I was feeding my ten month old nephew Gavin (who made a complete mess of his high chair, by the way) and I imagined myself what it would be like if he were my son. The first reaction would probably be panic. I was there when little Gavin was born, and when I saw him for the first time I was a little alarmed with his cone head (the sutures on infant’s skulls are not really “sealed” allowing it to be pliable as the baby passes through the birth canal). My heart pounded, thinking that it was some sort of abnormality, but of course I’d later learn that this was not unusual at all.

The first time I held him in my arms I was afraid I’d break him. I walked slowly- afraid I’d trip and fall to the floor and hurt this bundle of joy. When his fist grabbed my index finger my heart simply melted. I’ve never seen a creature so pure. Every difficult circumstance- my brother getting my sister-in-law accidentally pregnant and his reluctance in marrying her, my grandmother’s indifferent attitude at the time, and my late mother’s frustration at my brother’s behavior- they all simply dissipated. His innocence wiped away everything that was negative. Truly, being given a child is a gift.

I’ve considered being a single parent- that would not be such a bad deal. Even in straight relationships, how many couples actually do get married? And for those who marry, how many of them actually do stay together? Single parents are all over the place. On one side, you have the advantage of never having a partner hurt you again, because you already have that little person who will love you. Still, the biggest disadvantage of being a one-man team is having the burden of providing food and clothing, raising and parenting your child, not to mention shouldering the cost of education of your child from Kindergarten to College all by yourself.

Maybe we all have this instinct that is imbedded in all of us that enables us to care for our young. Having the full-time responsibility in caring for one’s child, whether you are a single parent, or a couple, married or unmarried, would take an enormous amount of effort. But judging from the delight in their faces at seeing their kids grow and take steps toward becoming grown-up individuals- it’s probably worth it. How do I know? I used to see that same look on my late parent’s faces, especially when I’ve done something right.