Saturday, July 21, 2007


July 1993

I was sent off one morning, when I was twelve years old, to run an errand. Our helper was busy cooking food for our pack lunch for school, so she asked me to buy a can of sardines and eggs for our breakfast.

It was still dark when I got out of our gate. I closed the latch silently as I slowly walked to Mana Paz’s store. I passed by this big house and I was greeted by a sight that made my heart pound. Through the window, I saw our hunky neighbor, wearing white briefs, looking at himself in the mirror. The feeling was by no means sexual, but it jolted me just as well.

His name was Larry. A junior at the University of the Philippines in Tacloban at that time. He was tall and well-muscled, but he had a boyish face. He was my ate’s crush as well. How did I know? She wrote it in her diary, and that was where I found out his name as well.

Larry would often come to our house, because he was friends with my uncle. Every afternoon, close to sundown, they would play basketball on the court on our street corner. His cheeks were always flushed after the game. They would sit on the porch after the game and talk about guy stuff.

One night, I finally got to see him up close. There was a city-wide brownout at that time and they decided to stay on the porch in candlelight.

“What sort of books do you read?” I asked, with my tiny frame leaning against the screen door.

“Jack Higgins, spy novels..” He replies. The light of the cancle illuminated the planes of his face. His bow-shaped lips moved softly.

“I write comic books with my best friend.” I said.

“I’d like to see them sometime.” He looks at me, amused.

I was not the type of kid who would shy away from a conversation with an older person. We ended up talking a little bit more, even when my uncle and ate went to buy barbeque at the corner, and we were left alone on the porch.

In the soft light of the night, I enjoyed my first indulgence reveling in the company of my first crush. If I’m not mistaken, I think he enjoyed it too.


Anonymous said...

your stories r so nakakakilig, hehehe :-)

runawaycat said...

Hmm...I thought you has a chatbox? Well, you're been tagged by me :)

Phoenix said...

@ josh: I can't forget my kilig moments kahit a decade had past already ; )

@ runawaycat: a chatbox is another thing to moderate, and with my sched i'm not able to.. i'll try to make the entry as soon as I have the time = )

Mark Xander said...

Thadie, your counter is proof that you're doing great. :)

So proud of yah. ;)

Phoenix said...

@ mark xander: Thanks Mark :)

Mark Xander said...

Thaddeus, you're not the only one who got "emancipated"..

Thanks for the inspiration! ;)

runawaycat said...

I just noticed my typo -_-"

Anyway you don't have to do it :) *psst* memes are a pain.

Anonymous said...

All your writings are way too provocative to be published in a local magazine... however, your works are great! It craved me more. So, go for it!!! ="P

Phoenix said...

@ anonymous: Korek! LOL! Haay naku, if only people would open their minds for an instant.. Ayoko kasi yung mga "sanitized" articles lang because that does not encompass the personality of a gay person.. lahat kasama- pati yung kalaswaan, yung funny parts, at yung seryoso.. I'll still try.. ; ) Punta ako inquirer to submit sample articles.. malay natin magkamali silang mag print kahit isa? haha Thanks for the kind words po!

Anonymous said...

heheh! your lucky enough thad. yuo've still manage to submit your articles to binhi and all of them was include. fijarme libre is a bit cocky but its ok... it will depends on the sisters descrition.heheh=)

Phoenix said...

@ anonymous: korek! I hope they would be open about it ; ) Really? Fijarme's tone sounded cocky? Alam mo, I always get defensive when discussing about homosexuality and repression.. parang dun ko lang nasasabi yung mga hinaing ko (Echos!) It actually reflects real life- parang ganun ako minsan. I'm always dreading that part when people make fun of me because of my orientation, so inuunahan ko na. If you are gay, you'd probably know the feeling ; )


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