Coming Out to a Friend

This page was borrowed from a friend's journal..
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April 19, 2001

You just wouldn't believe what I've found out today! Thad, an old high school friend, is in town for a vacation. We talked last night and he said he wanted us to meet and spend time together. It seemed liked a great idea to me. I haven't seen him for more than a year and so I agreed. He mentioned on the phone that he was "interested" in someone from Davao. I got the impression that Thad was in the process of falling in love and I was glad. Finally, my old friend has found someone he'd get emotionally involved with.

Thad and I clicked. I don't know made us both really "stick together" but I guess it had something to do with our childish ways and the way that we seem to understand each other. We were considered "babies" of the group because we were the youngest members.

It was great seeing him again and I noted some changes. He was an inch taller than I am and he gained a bit of weight. Suffice to say, he looked great.

It was several moments later after a good deal of "kumustahan" on our parts that he decided to show me pictures. I looked at some over trying to contain my excitement on finally seeing the picture of the girl who made my friend fall. I was confused, however, when I saw pictures of guys instead. Thad started talking about them telling me names and infos on the guys. Somewhere in my mind, I asked myself why he was showing me those pictures when he was supposed to be showing me his "girl," but I figured maybe these guys were his buddies from school and that Thad just wanted me to see a few of his friends.

Then he started talking about this one particular guy. I listened and observed him while he was telling me things about the guy. His eyes were twinkling. He had a silly smile on his face. And then I heard Thad say, "So, what do you think?"

I didn't know what he was asking me about. I just stared at him confusingly. And then, it dawned on me... Things finally started to clear up... His words finally started to sink in... I closed my eyes.... It couldn't be, could it?

I heard him say my name. I looked at him. I didn't quite know how to say it, how to ask him. I just stared. It was as if Thad already knew what I was asking because he said, "It's okay, Rem." I inhaled deeply and then abruptly closed my eyes. "Is he??" I asked myself.

"It's okay Rem. Really, it is." He patted my shoulder. I looked at him again. This time, with tears in my eyes! I was crying! I didn't know why I was crying about it. It could be from shock. It was a shock learning something like that unexpectedly.

"I don't know what to say..." I told Thad as I started wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Believe me, you don't have to worry. I still like girls." I heard him say with his trademark grin on his face.

We spent hours talking... I asked him if the group knew and he said I was the only one from the group who knew about it but he was planning to tell the group at a much, much later date when he thinks he is ready for it. I asked Thad why he chose me and he said it was because he knew I was open minded and that I'd understand.

Open minded meaning I won't be judgmental. Open minded meaning I'd be able to accept it, accept him, and understand him. And in more than ways than one, it was true. I was open minded about it. I didn't recoil or draw back when he told me his secret. And it isn't really my place to judge him. I don't think I have the right to do so. As long as Thad is happy then he has my full support, my love, and my friendship... always.