Tuesday, March 18, 2008

That's acting

After bleeding profusely from every hole in my body due to an epistaxis and hemorrhage-inducing Biochemistry final exam, I walked robotically to the nearest Globe office to pay our two months overdue bill. As if to mock my rage at having been asked to run an errand in the middle of finals week, I accidentally stepped on a huge, juicy pile of dog poo on the sidewalk.

Shit! Some of it even stuck to my slacks. Shit, shit, shit! I tried to wipe it off the pavement, but only succeeded in spreading it even on a wider area, and making the smelly, cappuccino-colored turd lodge into the crevices of the shoe.

There was no tissue in my bag, no patch of grass where I could wipe off the offending substance to, nothing except the dusty pavement. I did a sort of tap dance to try to shake off the last remaining bits sticking to my shoe- but I had to stop because the pedestrians were starting to stare. I saw a smirk on a lady’s face. Oh, she probably knew from the trail my right shoe made.

I kept walking (and stomping my right feet). As I arrived at the Globe office, I meticulously wiped my shoes on their doormat, before stepping into the air conditioned office. I held my head high.

As I sat down after collecting my number, my stomach knotted in horror as I began to get a whiff of a rancid odor. Nothing too obvious- just a hint. And then the aircon went into swing and the odor spread around the entire room! I was frozen for a moment. Should I get out? Too obvious! No one knows its your shoe! So I decided to wait a few minutes more to get my number called. People inside were already starting to look around with their faces crinkled. A man checked the underside of his slippers. I kept my cool.

“057” The readerboard flashed. Whew! I got up and handed the bill to the cashier. Her nose wrinkled as she looked at me. “Do you smell something?” She asks me.

With my outraged who-came-in-here-with-dog-poo-on-his-shoes look in my eyes, I shrugged and said “Mayda ada nakatamak hin tae dinhi.” (Someone here must have stepped on some dog feces.) I collected the change and walked nonchalantly out the door, with a secret smile on my face.


Jonats said...

ahahaha. you just made my morning great.

Phoenix said...

@ jonats: stick around for more bloopers! hehe Have a great day ahead dude

chase / chubz said...

i love the pics..
very busy..

Phoenix said...

@ chase: same here buddy = )

Mink said...

and the best actor in a pretending role goes to:


(the emcee handed the statuette to the winner)

Thad (on the mic): teka parang may naamoy ako ditong kakaiba...

wala lang!


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