Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Queen of our Hearts

Forget Gretchen Barretto. Forget Angel Locsin. Forget Bea Alonzo. Those commoners pale in comparison with the dazzling creature known as Madame Auring. A pity they left her out in Preview Magazine's Manila's Most Beautiful Campaign two years running- the crime of the century!! No, they should reduce Ruffa and the others to 1 x 1 ID pics by the margins and have our pristine goddess at the center holding a scepter, and by scepter I mean penis.

Here she is on the cover of FHM, giving Katrina Halili a run for her money. After this, the magazine should devote itself solely to worshiping our naturally beautiful idol. Put her on every calendar! I won't be surprised if you see men jizzing in public places at the sight of her natural endowments. Hell, I bet she would be the next target for every pervert in the country to star in their next sex video!!! The NBI and police MUST join forces to round up these criminals before they lay a finger on the most beautiful Filipina alive.
Madame devotes herself to public service, here she is on a radio show that suddenly came alive with her presence. As a modern day oracle, she gives accurate predictions such as who would win Miss Universe. Sure, she said "Miss Valenzuela", but those imbeciles who chuckled should know- the joke is on them! Obviously they were too half witted to realize our all-knowing goddess have seen Valenzuela's imminent destiny of becoming a separate country.

The goddess' generosity is simply unparalleled. Unlike you and me, Madame spends time with the needy- in this picture, she stands right next to a plebeian. Our golden haired diva is not one to make judgments, she won't utter a word that your cheeks are too fat or you have body odor. Instead, she keeps that beautiful smile that can make angels sing.

We should forget about Loren Legarda as our candidate for the next woman president of the Philippines. Vote for Madame Auring! Heck, vote for her as Queen of the Universe!!! For a campaign song, she can use her Grammy winning classic "May Asim pa". The selfish bastards at the Grammys were too jealous of her beauty and melodious voice that they kept the awards to themselves. Preposterous!

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