Friday, October 23, 2009


Tale of the Undercover Thief who Steals Old Underwear for no Reason.”


T’was a hot April afternoon when I decided to drop by the plush RCBC Plaza gym, to work up a sweat before my shift at the office. As I changed in the lockers, I noticed that although I brought my workout clothes- spare t-shirt, shorts, and rubber shoes; I forgot an extra pair of underwear.

What I was wearing was a pair of ancient “granny pants” (sorry, it was laundry day) I had since I was a freshman in college, with the garter stretched and curled like a piece of pasta. Hiding behind the locker door, and afraid someone would see me, I decided to keep my granny pants and my office clothes in the locker while I go commando in my gym clothes.

So I locked the cabinet and “bounced” all the way to the workout area. I started with the weights and the machines, carefully keeping my legs together so the one-eyed monster won’t take a peek to the outside world.

It was a rather uneventful afternoon as I listened to music while “bouncing” on the treadmill that was facing GT Tower. When I finally finished with the weights, I went to the steam room and then the showers.

With my towel wrapped around my waist, I walked to the locker area where a gym bunny was rolling deodorant under his arm while completely naked. Omg! I averted my eyes (charot!) and opened my cabinet. I took out my stuff.

Undershirt, check! Long sleeves, check! Necktie, pants, check! Wait. I froze. Then I checked everything again- inside the locker, my bag. My granny pants were missing!!!

As I checked the pocket of my bag where I kept my valuables- cell phone and wallet- the money was complete.

“Was I sure I really wore underwear kanina?” I asked myself.

Yes!!! How could I forget wearing granny pants? After checking every inch of my bag and locker, an attendant noticed my distress and approached me.

“Sir, is there a problem?”

I hesitated. What am I supposed to do, tell him I was missing my granny pants? Even if they found those it would be too embarrassing to claim ownership of that thing.

I smiled. “None, everything’s fine.”

Damn. I had to go to work commando, I’d be late for office if I go home for a pair. As I exited the locker area, I looked around the guys inside the locker room in various stages of undress.

One of these people took my underwear. I found it hard to believe because it was an upscale place, and there was certainly no shortage of underwear in the Philippines. Oh well, those granny pants had to go anyway.

I headed out with both an amused and annoyed look on my face.

1 comment:

rudeboy said...

"...but as much as possible, I would prefer it people remembered my blog for the writing."

This reminds me of that scene in Dangerous Liaisons where Marquise de Merteuil first introduces the music teacher Danceny to Cecile de Volange at the opera:

Marquise de Merteuil: Tell us we should think of the opera.
Chevalier Danceny: Oh, it's sublime, don't you find?
Marquise de Merteuil: Monsieur Danceny is one of those rare eccentrics who come here to listen to the music.


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