I sent this through e-mail to some people, and so far I've had interesting responses (from males in their twenties):
Don't you think the gay lifestyle is too hedonistic? I'm not judging here, simply stating some of the things that are quite obvious: countless exploitative "indie films" shown in cinemas-or direct to dvd, massage parlors on every corner, chat rooms, dating sites, hook ups, - you name it. I'm beginning to believe that the "too much sex culture" is due either to repression or just plain loneliness.
I've done things in the past typical of any single gay guy but I asked myself: is that all there is to being gay?
I have gay friends both in Manila and in the province who spend weekends looking for guys to hook up with (and mind you my yuppie friend in manila is not single). It's the same routine over and over and apparently, they are not happy with the set-up either (nor do they show signs of stopping). I understand some people may not like permanence or commitment at all, but what do you think the future holds for gay guys given that we don't marry or procreate and form families?
What are your thoughts?
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Reply 1:
I think it applies to all gender irrespective of their sexual preferences…the common misconception where gays are being equated to sex (or maybe even the lack of it) needs to be set-straight for the sake of the ignoramuses…
Honestly, sex would be the last thing on my mind when I buzz or meet people on the dating sites…I prefer a good laugh over a cup of coffee than a quick nookie…call me an old fashion but believe me it took me more than one month to spread my legs before I get to know my bf for four years…
And besides, SEX just for the heck of it could really be tiring…
Relpy 2:
yup tama observation mo. kahit naman sa straight. i keep pointing to straight guys kasi, para magkaroon ka din ng perspective at di ka lang exclusive sa mga homosexuals.
uso sa PLU ang open relationship. Dahil sa libog factor ng mga kalalakihan at madami lalaki ang hirap controlling ang kanilang alaga.
since dati, naniniwala ako sa exclusivity pagdating sa sex, ngayon relax din ako pagdating sa sex if ever na may partner ako. Naiintindihan ko na hindi ko kaya i-fulfill ang mga gusto ng partner ko. Pero ang nakakatakot lang dito is makakontak ng sakit.
I learned my lessons din nito lang, payag ako sa open relationship, pero I make sure, between sa amin ng partner ko, hindi ako ang maya maya't may bagong ka-sex. Okay lang makipagsex sya kanino kanino pero, hindi sya pwedeng mangako sa dalawang tao. If in case na inlove sya sa iba pa, then the relationship must end. It is obvious hindi ako ang kailangan nya.
Sex is just sex plus more. Depende yan sa napag-usapan nyo. If there's a need to express yourself, then do it. Sex is self-expression.
Pero sabi ko nga sa blog ko, may kakambal ang self-expression: respect
Pero if you're partner are doing the same and agree about having hook up outside the realtionship, then okay lang. Basta the partner and you must be responsible enough. Pero kung walang agreement, dun ka sa default, which is monogamy. Yun nga respeto, in short magdusa. Ito ang outcome ng decisyon mo dati pa. Kasali ito sa package.
By the way, 75% of the world societies are polygamous alam mo ba, western lang ang in denial. Pero since nandito ka sa society natin, you are free to make a choice, however you must suffer the consequences.
Reply 3:
kind of..but i have no plans naman of doing this like for a lifetime. I know that there would be a point in my life that I'll stop. I'll stop because I found someone... someone that I'd been praying and waiting..(it wouldn't matter if he/she.).The important thing is, there should be an element of 'love'. It should be mutual. I'll not commit myself to some1 if love is missing. It's an essential ingredient.
'Bout the seeking pleasure thing with guys, it's kinda normal for us gays. It's something in you. Its an urge that is beyond your control (most of the time) and at the same time gratifies you... parang compulsion kumbaga.
Pero definitely, I'll stop. I dunno when. As of now, I'll just make the most of gay life while patiently waiting for someone.:-) I just know him/her by heart.
Join in the discussion and give us your two cents on this topic ;)
I've done things in the past typical of any single gay guy but I asked myself: is that all there is to being gay?
I have gay friends both in Manila and in the province who spend weekends looking for guys to hook up with (and mind you my yuppie friend in manila is not single). It's the same routine over and over and apparently, they are not happy with the set-up either (nor do they show signs of stopping). I understand some people may not like permanence or commitment at all, but what do you think the future holds for gay guys given that we don't marry or procreate and form families?
What are your thoughts?
----------------------
Reply 1:
I think it applies to all gender irrespective of their sexual preferences…the common misconception where gays are being equated to sex (or maybe even the lack of it) needs to be set-straight for the sake of the ignoramuses…
Honestly, sex would be the last thing on my mind when I buzz or meet people on the dating sites…I prefer a good laugh over a cup of coffee than a quick nookie…call me an old fashion but believe me it took me more than one month to spread my legs before I get to know my bf for four years…
And besides, SEX just for the heck of it could really be tiring…
Relpy 2:
yup tama observation mo. kahit naman sa straight. i keep pointing to straight guys kasi, para magkaroon ka din ng perspective at di ka lang exclusive sa mga homosexuals.
uso sa PLU ang open relationship. Dahil sa libog factor ng mga kalalakihan at madami lalaki ang hirap controlling ang kanilang alaga.
since dati, naniniwala ako sa exclusivity pagdating sa sex, ngayon relax din ako pagdating sa sex if ever na may partner ako. Naiintindihan ko na hindi ko kaya i-fulfill ang mga gusto ng partner ko. Pero ang nakakatakot lang dito is makakontak ng sakit.
I learned my lessons din nito lang, payag ako sa open relationship, pero I make sure, between sa amin ng partner ko, hindi ako ang maya maya't may bagong ka-sex. Okay lang makipagsex sya kanino kanino pero, hindi sya pwedeng mangako sa dalawang tao. If in case na inlove sya sa iba pa, then the relationship must end. It is obvious hindi ako ang kailangan nya.
Sex is just sex plus more. Depende yan sa napag-usapan nyo. If there's a need to express yourself, then do it. Sex is self-expression.
Pero sabi ko nga sa blog ko, may kakambal ang self-expression: respect
Pero if you're partner are doing the same and agree about having hook up outside the realtionship, then okay lang. Basta the partner and you must be responsible enough. Pero kung walang agreement, dun ka sa default, which is monogamy. Yun nga respeto, in short magdusa. Ito ang outcome ng decisyon mo dati pa. Kasali ito sa package.
By the way, 75% of the world societies are polygamous alam mo ba, western lang ang in denial. Pero since nandito ka sa society natin, you are free to make a choice, however you must suffer the consequences.
Reply 3:
kind of..but i have no plans naman of doing this like for a lifetime. I know that there would be a point in my life that I'll stop. I'll stop because I found someone... someone that I'd been praying and waiting..(it wouldn't matter if he/she.).The important thing is, there should be an element of 'love'. It should be mutual. I'll not commit myself to some1 if love is missing. It's an essential ingredient.
'Bout the seeking pleasure thing with guys, it's kinda normal for us gays. It's something in you. Its an urge that is beyond your control (most of the time) and at the same time gratifies you... parang compulsion kumbaga.
Pero definitely, I'll stop. I dunno when. As of now, I'll just make the most of gay life while patiently waiting for someone.:-) I just know him/her by heart.
Join in the discussion and give us your two cents on this topic ;)
