Wednesday, October 1, 2008

just so you know

date: oct 1,2008
mood: happy
song: just so you know

they've always invoked both feelings of desire and disdain in me. men appeared in many forms: the bullies in elementary school, my high school crush, my college friend who i slept with for the first time...

and my first boyfriend-

or was that technically a relationship? the extent of our interaction consisted mostly of him going to my dorm and fooling around with me until my roommate knocks insistently on the locked door. there were no discussions of "let's move in together soon" or "where is this going?", which probably explains why i never heard from him two months after we met for the first time at that party.

i've always had a penchant for good-looking guys (who doesn't?), and i dedicated my friday and saturday nights in malate or galera to ensnaring the "perfect guy". in the haze of liqour and raging hormones, i'd inevitably jump into bed with them. but these trysts ended up for me, almost always, with tears and goodbyes.

and then there was one:

it began with e-mails for about a month. he bought a copy of my book, and one day asked if he could have lunch with me. he must be a little crazy, i thought. i mean, this guy lives in manila and for two years now i have been based in tacloban. he said he'd take the plane and go on a day trip.


admittedly, the romantic in me was delirious. i've never met the guy, but how romantic can you get? my first boyfriend couldn't even take a tricycle to buy bread from the baker, but this guy will take a plane ride.

there is a twist of course. he's older than me- not that i consider age a hindrance, but it could be difficult to meet in the middle. we have different sensibilities, tastes, philosophies- after all, we are in different places in our lives. and i also thought: what would people think? this wasn't exactly the "cute young couple" scenario i've always imagined.

when we made it official finally, i was prepared to bridge the gaps- adjusting to his lifestyle, meeting the people around him- and he did the same with me. i realized what i've always missed in my previous relationships: compromise and commitment. during the most trying times in my life he was there: my mother's passing, my grandmother's hospitalization, and all those little trials in day to day life.

with him, i've learned to look beyond the surface- beneath appearances, behind rose-colored glasses. i began to see the good qualities in people like kindness, generosity, and compassion.

i'm far from that twentysomething boy who searched for the perfect guy and found none. i'm an adult in a loving, grown up relationship, and even up to now he still makes my heart leap.

i'm so lucky to have found a man like you, happy 6th hun. ;-)


rOckY said...

compromise and commitment are definitely key to making any relationship really work. I'm glad you found someone worth meeting halfway for.

congrats to both of you!

blagadag said...

way to go!

Mugen said...

It's like getting a primer on relationships again. Pangalawa ka na. Thanks Thad. I will keep your entry in mind.

Rhodge said...

Congrats! :)

Phoenix said...

@ everyone: many thanks ; )

Beejing said...

Hi Thad,

Hats off to you... congratulations.



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