Talk Sense To Me

Dear C,

I keep humming that song and remembering how it felt when you had your arm around me. The feel of your skin on my fingertips lingers on my mind. I still feel your warmth as if you are beside me now.

I know we have shared nothing more than a wonderful evening, but may I say this? I think you and I could be a couple.

You leave me with much anticipation. Here I am sitting on my bed, thinking of you and that old love song that played when we first met.

Corny ‘no?

I miss you.

Hipokrito

It just makes me sick to my stomach, how gay dating had become so shallow. It’s all about image- who’s thinner, who’s got the money, who’s got the face to make it to showbusiness. Everything counts: your job title, your car and your gadgets. It’s more like a contest, I tell ya. Whatever happened to love and genuine friendship?

Geez, even penises weren’t spared. One has to meet a certain size requirement. "Below six inches? Sorry buddy, go get implants." Till then you have to steer clear of the dating scene and join a chastity group instead ‘cause baby, that soldier ain’t gonna get action.

Did I mention how rude people had become? Take the vicious example of online dating. These are actually posted on existing profiles: Good looking, gym buff for the same. Effems and obvious gays take a hike! Fuglies not allowed. Seriously, want me to give you the links to those profiles?

Perhaps the media has bred a new generation of self-obsessed, vain, silly, silly queens who think of nothing but self improvement. Bye-bye manners. I am going to start a crusade and make a difference!! Right after writing these observations, I’ll persuade people to CHANGE!

Oh, but not till after I check my  account. Username… password… Yipee! Four new messages. I’ll check the profiles out.

Ugh. This one looks too gay, she’s oozing pink fluid. The next one is about a hundred years old and…yikes! The next one looks like Mike Enriquez. Oh well, perhaps the fourth. Nope, this one looks like Mike Enriquez dressed as a coked up, wasted, and banged up Cher.

Delete, delete, delete.

----------------Author’s Note:
You do realize this is only half-true, I mean fiction, right? ; )

3 Days, 6 Hours, and 90 Minutes in Ormoc

IV.

I woke up that day feeling as gloomy as the skies had become. Today, this little fairy tale I’ve weaved is about to end.

My sandals were wet, and so was the back of my leg from the rain. Rich wore the same clothes as he did last night. “What are you having for lunch?” He asked.

“Kahit ano.”

He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. I looked at his face, he was mouthing “Cheer up!”

I smiled. “Kakainis, I have to go back to school and catch up on what I’ve missed.”

“So you regret being here.”

“No. It was worth coming here, I just hate it that it’s ending,”

We were silent while we ate.

I was thinking, perhaps this was just meant to be a great couple of dates and nothing more. A relationship was possible, but with the distance and all- it won’t work.

“You’re quiet again.”

“I’m just a little tired. When are you leaving for Cebu?”

“Bukas pa.”

“Kung wala lang akong unit test I’d stay. Sayang.”

“Next time mas matagal tayo mag-stay. We can go to those beaches in Samar you showed me pictures of.”

“Yeah.” I looked away.

-oOo-
The van was almost full when we arrived at the terminal. Rich handed me my backpack.

“Ingat ka.” He said, smiling.

“You know, I’d kiss you right now, but the guys in the van might beat me up later.” I laughed.

He held my hand for a while.

“Text me when you get home.”

“Sure.”

I get in the passenger seat and gave him a wave.

He waved back and smiled at me. I shut the door just as the van started moving. I hugged my backpack close to my chest and stared at the distance.

-End-

The Problem with Dating Someone "Out of Your League"

Picture this: you are finally having a date with your dream guy and you just can’t stop fidgeting. You worry about every damn cute guy (or a woman, if he is straight) who would enter the room and catch his attention.

You manage a smile when one of his friends come by, but start to panic once the friend acts as if they’re ex-lovers. Or were they really? You wonder. Meanwhile you double check your fingernails to see if they are dirt-less, then you pick up a spoon and try to desperately get a glimpse of your reflection. Is my hair still in place?

You hang on to his every word, thinking of a witty reply. You sigh with relief, once you manage to say something to his liking.

“Excuse me.” You say, leaving for the restroom the nth time to make sure there’s nothing stuck between your teeth, or perhaps a drop of sauce on your shirt. How embarrassing that would be!

When you return you think of other things you can discuss that you have in common- music perhaps? Movies? Wait, we already talked about that. Then oops, suddenly you spilled your drink on the table.

You make a joke out of it and try not to catch even more attention. Then, nearing the end of your dinner, you get nervous about how the date would end. If he kisses me, should I kiss him back? Or maybe not.

You finally decide to head home, and he waits for you to get a taxi. “I had a good time.” He smiles.

“Me too.” You say politely, too afraid to make a move.

The taxi pulls over. He leans towards you and you move your face towards his awkwardly to kiss him on the cheek.

As the taxi pulls off the curb, you breathe a sigh of relief.

Bzzzz! You check your phone, which you’ve set on vibrate. It’s him!

Dream date: Nytnyt! I’ll see you again soon.

Your reply: I had a great time too. It was great seeing you tonight.

Maybe he does like you, you think, otherwise he won’t be texting you now. Bzzzz! It’s your bestfriend calling.

“How was your date?” You slump back on the seat of the car.

“Exhausting!”

3 Days, 6 Hours, and 90 Minutes in Ormoc

III.

His hand felt warm, and felt nice to snuggle up to him inside the cold theater. Boy, if only I was still in my reckless phase I would have grabbed something else by now.

Through the darkness I saw the shape of his face- those lips that were in half a smile, his lashes, his slightly unruly hair. Right then, I just wanted the moment to freeze. Me in the arms of a guy I really like.

“I’m a little hungry, let’s get some food.”

“Sure, I say.” I walked quietly beside him. I let go of his hand after we went out of the theater lest I elicit curious stares from people. He put his arm on my shoulder and squeezed.

I look up and smiled at him. I know that look, and I know what that meant.

“Take out na lang tayo ha. Wanna go to my place afterwards?”

“Yeah.” He said, as we approached the counter.

-oOo-


We barely got through the door when he started kissing me. Oh gosh, I forgot how good it felt to have a man take me in his arms. I kissed him back, and roughly removed his jacket (just like in the movies!).

“Have you called your relative’s house yet? Are going to stay- ”

He kissed me again. Heck, let his folks worry about him later, Gracia na ito! I laughed to myself.

I put his t-shirt over his head ad start kissing his chest. When I look up a moment, I saw his eyes were closed, cheeks flushed, and lips parted.

I grab his belt, and kiss him as I unbuckle it.

He pulls up my shirt and sucks on my nipple. “Oh man.” My heart pounded. This is it- the point of no return. I kissed him again before I go down on him.

-oOo-

He already dozed off when my phone buzzed. I ignored it, and snuggled closer to him.

I’m so happy! I thought, resting my head on his shoulder. Through the glass windows, I saw the stars were gone, and it had begun to rain.

3 Days, 6 Hours, and 90 Minutes in Ormoc

II.

“Been here long?”

The speaker was an attractive chinito wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

“Richard?” I asked.

“Yup.” He smiled.

I was suddenly shy. Damn, looked cute! I ran my fingers self-consciously through my hair.

“Kain tayo.” I pointed to the burger and fries on the table.

“So it’s your first time in Ormoc?” He smiled.

“Not really, daan lang several times on the way to Cebu.”

“I grew up here, bago mag-college.”

“Saan?”
“San Carlos.”

“So, saan mga nice places dito sa Ormoc?”

He rubs his finger on his chin. “We could have a picnic at the beach..”

“White sand ba?”

“Nah.”

“Sayang, kung malapit lang Samar we could go there instead. The beaches are pristine and absolutely fantastic. I think I brought my portfolio.” I reach into my backpack and take out the file containing glossy 8R photographs.

“Impressive.” He says, going through the pages.

“These monochromatic shots were taken at Busay Falls in Babatngon. And this…”

I carefully remove one photo from the file. “This is Calicoan Beach in Guiuan.”

“How far is Guiuan from Tacloban?”

“About three hours.”

“So if we come from Ormoc, it’ll take us five hours.” He grins sheepishly.

“More or less. Sayang talaga, if only we had more time I could show you around.” I returned the photo to its place and put the file back in my bag.

“Where to?” I asked.

-oOo-

We ended up going to Orchid Resort. It was a pleasant enough beach- wide expanse of water, gray sand, palm trees, and cottages that dotted the shore.

The cool salty breeze always soothed me, and at a distance I could see a ferry headed for Cebu.

“Let me carry that for you.” Said Richard, grabbing my backpack.

“Thanks Rich.”

I took out my camera and start taking pictures.

“Hey!” He said, covering his face.

“O, bakit?” I laughed.

“Di ata ako didikit dyan. Bihis muna ako.” He gets his shorts from his pack and starts looking for the dressing area.
“Ni wala atang shower area.” I remarked.

He returns to the cottage with his shorts. “Dito ka na magbihis.”

He pulls down his pants and start changing. I grab my camera and start snapping pictures. “For posterity’s sake.” I said, laughing, as he tried to evade the lens.

3 Days, 6 Hours, and 90 Minutes in Ormoc

I.

Ever since meeting him in person, I’ve had this weird melancholy feeling each time I see his face. The same sort of emotion I felt watching the opening sequence of Sunday Night Specials on TV when I was younger, just before the featured Hollywood movie starts. It would be a great film, for sure, yet I had this feeling of dread that it would be over soon. The magic would soon dissipate, and I’d be back to reality, preparing for a hectic Monday.

His name was Richard, and he was a student from Cebu. My spur-of-the-moment trip to Ormoc was a desperate attempt to revive my flagging lovelife. We met through an online site. Our conversation went like this:

Dec 21 17:57

Richard: Rich here, 5’8 fair and fit. Care to be friends?

Me: 25 discreet male (I’ve been 25 yrs old for three years now) here from Tacloban. Cute. Lol!

Richard: Nakapunta na me dun during your city’s fiesta… I like Sto. Nino Shrine and Red Beach

Me: Yeah, the Pintados is a big event out here. Next time ha text me when you get here. 0900 888 8888.


Dec 22 21:17

Richard: Sorry for the late reply, I went offline yesterday. Sure! Text me din if you get to Cebu 0900 999 5555. Are you working already?

Me: Nah, a student. I worked for a while but now I’m taking up Nursing. U?
Richard: Hehe pareho tayi bai, Nursing din course ko, graduating this year.

Me: Uy congrats! Hehe dapat pala magpaturo ako sa’yo.

Richard: Anong subject?

Me: Anatomy ; )

Richard: Hands-on gusto mo? hehe!


Dec 24 03:31

Me: Hey! Online ka pala..
Richard: May surprise ako sa ‘yo

Me: Ano yun?

Richard: Punta ako ng Ormoc next week. I’ll be visiting for three days.

Me: Ormoc is just two hours away by bus from Tacloban.. I have a class though.

Richard: Meet me in Ormoc. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

Me: We’ll see..